May 19th, 2025 by The Rat

Yes, my friends in Mrs. Mclaughlin’s class, Raston A. Rat is on vacation!  I took a long flight on RodentAir, and now I’m in Hawaii, sipping a Hamster Slushie and dipping my ratty toes in the surf.  I hope you like my flowered swim trunks and my ratly cool shades!  It’s fun here, at the Ritzy Rodent Resort–there was even a karaoke contest on the patio this morning, and I sang my newest song (“Cruel, Cruel Felines”).  I was hardly nervous at all!

Thank you for all your good advice about sports and toe cramps.  I have decided to go out for the sport of Beaching.  Beaching is a pretty easy sport; you just have to sit on a beach and now and then splash in the water.  You might not think this is much of a sport, but seriously, jumping around on the keyboard and sending all those messages to you was quite a workout!  So even though I had a ratastic time blogging with all you fifth graders, I think it’s time to give my sore ratty paws a break.

So to all you wonderful kids who have been blogging with me recently, I bid a sweet rodent farewell… how you brightened my gloomy, ratty days!  Take care, be kind to any rodents you meet, and do yourselves a favor– WATCH OUT FOR CATS!!

love, Ratty

May 16th, 2025 by The Rat

Well, after my encounter with the scale yesterday, and all your good advice about exercise, I realized I’d better get in shape in a hurry.  I mean, sure, I’m a speedy rat–more or less–but after gaining all that extra weight, am I speedy enough to outrun a CAT?  Maybe not!

So I thought I’d go out for track and run off some of that excess flab.  And here I am, ready to scamper!  What do you think of my snazzy new jersey and shoes?

I have to say, though, it was hard to find track shoes that fit.  I mean, it isn’t easy to find a size 1/16 AAAAAAA.  We are talking looooooong and naaaaaaarow, here.  Plus my toes are very pointy.  I need plenty of room for my claws, or I just feel cramped.  And as every runner knows, toe cramps are a very bad thing.

So, do any of you have problems with toe cramps?  Tail cramps?  Whisker droop?  What about when you’re running very hard, and the person in front of you kicks up a piece of gravel the size of your head?  Sports are fun, but sometimes they’re painful!  Have YOU ever had that experience?  What did you do?

May 14th, 2025 by The Rat

Okay, there’s good news and bad news.  The good news is, I didn’t have the Ratbonic Plague, because my rash is all gone today!

On the other hand, I was feeling so bad the other day that I had a few peanut butter cups to make myself feel better.  Well, okay, I had MORE than a few.  And that got me worried.  I can’t afford to be so heavy that I slow down.  After all, what if I meet up with a CAT someday?  I have to be able to dash, see?  So today I got on the scale, just to check how the ol’ weight is coming along.

And YIKES!  I’d never seen a number that big before!

So I asked the nice library lady where her weight-loss books for rats were.  And would you believe it?  She said there are NO diet books for rodents!  Not even guinea pigs, and most of them could stand to lose a few ounces (Why do you think they call them PIGS??)

Hmmm.  Maybe I should write the world’s first diet book for rodents!  I’ve been trying to think of some good titles.  How about, Lose the Pudge, Say No to Fudge!   or Take a Dare, Eat a Carr(ot).  Or even better, How to Lose Weight on Seventeen Peanut Butter Cups a Day (that diet hasn’t been tested yet!)

Do YOU have any good ideas for titles?

May 8th, 2025 by The Rat

Okay, this is JUST NOT FAIR.  I thought little rats like me were supposed to have FUN , you know?  I want to run around the neighborhood with all my ratty friends, play pawball, drink Hamster Slushies, and PLAY.  But noooooooooooo.  I’m stuck doing YARD WORK.

I tried to tell Emmy that I am too small to work this hard.  For one thing, there’s no way I’m big enough to mow the lawn.  But she says I’m just the perfect size to pull dandelions.

The perfect size?  THE PERFECT SIZE???  (Oh, sorry, was I yelling?)  I’m not yelling at you, believe me.  But just take a look at this picture and see what you think.  That dandelion is bigger than I am!

Emmy says we’re perfectly matched– ol’ Dandy might be taller, but I’m heavier.  Plus I can walk.  Not to mention grab and yank.  So she is betting on me to win this battle.

I’m not so sure.

What do you think?  Is this even FAIR?  Have YOU ever had to do a job that seemed way too big for you?

May 4th, 2025 by The Rat

Helloooooo, and a big welcome to all you fifth graders reading my book with Mrs. Mclaughlin!  Are you ready to blog with me?  Because I’m ready to ratblog with YOU!

Notice my excellent posture at the keyboard?  My beautifully curved tail?  My perky ears?   I even dabbed a little extra hair gel between my ears, just for you.  I’m going for the spiky look.

Okay, I’m ready to start jumping around on the keyboard (I like to type with all four paws.)  But there’s just one little thing that has me… well, not exactly worried.  Not precisely anxious.  But maybe just a little teensy bit… um… nervous?

So here’s the big question:  What if some of you don’t like rats?  What if you don’t like MEEEEEE?

Okay, if you can’t stand rats, please don’t tell me.  We rodents have very sensitive feelings. But if you like me, maybe you could tell me?  After all, I AM a very handsome rat… plus, I LOVE to blog.  Do you?

Your friend,

Ratty

P.S.  I hope none of you are cats.