The Rat Weighs In
May 14th, 2025 by The Rat
Okay, there’s good news and bad news. The good news is, I didn’t have the Ratbonic Plague, because my rash is all gone today!
On the other hand, I was feeling so bad the other day that I had a few peanut butter cups to make myself feel better. Well, okay, I had MORE than a few. And that got me worried. I can’t afford to be so heavy that I slow down. After all, what if I meet up with a CAT someday? I have to be able to dash, see? So today I got on the scale, just to check how the ol’ weight is coming along.
And YIKES! I’d never seen a number that big before!
So I asked the nice library lady where her weight-loss books for rats were. And would you believe it? She said there are NO diet books for rodents! Not even guinea pigs, and most of them could stand to lose a few ounces (Why do you think they call them PIGS??)
Hmmm. Maybe I should write the world’s first diet book for rodents! I’ve been trying to think of some good titles. How about, Lose the Pudge, Say No to Fudge! or Take a Dare, Eat a Carr(ot). Or even better, How to Lose Weight on Seventeen Peanut Butter Cups a Day (that diet hasn’t been tested yet!)
Do YOU have any good ideas for titles?
- 24 Comments »
- Posted in Raston's Blog
May 14th, 2025 at 10:50 am
Yikes.. maybe try to eat a couple less peanut and MABYE just MABYE try doing some exercises in the morning . and also one question have you ever shrinking someone or something before Emmy and joe ?
May 14th, 2025 at 10:51 am
Hi Ratty!!!!! I’m so happy that you have decided to take lead and start your own book. That is very proactive of you. Anyway, I definitely do have some ideas for title names like, Rats, eat healthy! Or, Rats, lets start a diet!, Yes I know I’m not the best at making names but that’s pretty much all I’ve got. Anyway, I hope you do find a good title for your book but just know when your book comes out I will definitely be reading it!
From, Harper
May 14th, 2025 at 10:51 am
What’s up Ratty! I just wanted tell you ideas for the name of the first rodents diet book! I was thinking names like: How to be a healthy rat and be as skinny as a bat! That’s it, bye bye~
May 14th, 2025 at 10:51 am
Hello Ratty, I have no idea why they call them pigs. The world is always full of confusing things to think about. Although I do have a good idea for a title… maybe something like, Diets For Scale Smashers! Or maybe you can ask Joe. After all, he is an athlete and is now tiny like you.
May 14th, 2025 at 10:52 am
A big Ratty greeting to you, Sabrina, Gaby, Harper and Leah! Thanks so much for all of your suggestions–I sure need them!
Sabrina, I sure do like your title, Diets for Scale Smashers. Because I would LOVE to smash that scale! And I bet a lot of other rats would, too. Hmmm, yes, Joe might have some ideas… and you are right, the world IS always full of confusing things to think about! But I have to say, the Rodent World seems a little simpler. Maybe it’s because we have our feet on the ground– FOUR feet, instead of just two. That’s got to be an advantage!
What’s up with you, Gaby? What’s up with me is, I really like your title, How to Be a Healthy Rat (and be skinny as a bat!) It’s kind of ratriguing. I mean, I’ve never thought about wanting to be skinny as a bat before. Would I have to grow wings, too? And… fangs? (In the case of a vampire bat) Okay, thanks for thinking up a title for me, that’s it, bye bye to you, too!
Hi, Harper! I get a ratly kick out of your titles. I mean, they’re short, punchy, and hard to forget. You might think you aren’t the best at making up names, but I think Rats, Eat Healthy! and Rats, Let’s Start a Diet! are good ones! They’re emphatic. They’re directive. Which is a lot like ME! And I will definitely let you know when (if) my book comes out! (Wait, scratch that “if”. Got to think positive, here!)
Yikes, Leah, are you SURE about that advice? You REALLY want me to eat fewer peanuts (and, by extension, fewer peanut-butter cups? ACK!!) I am not ratzactly sure I could do that. But I probably COULD do some exercises in the morning. I could, say, do:
10 Tail Flicks
20 Ear Wiggles (10 per ear)
40 Claw Scratches (10 per paw)
What do you think? Oh, and about your question, I’m not really sure. I mean, maybe I did shrink someone when I was really little, and just can’t remember? Hard to say!
May 14th, 2025 at 10:56 am
Hi Ratty, I can think of a couple of titles but I’m not an author either so don’t judge me. The titles I thought of while I was typing this were Don’t eat thing that are sugary or bad for you. Another one can be how to stay healthy while eating junk (There is a very low chance there are words in that one). So ratty I recommend that you keep on looking in those shelfs. Bye Ratty
May 14th, 2025 at 10:56 am
Hello Ratty very nice to see you again I think the title ” when Less is more it doesn’t raise the score” is an excellent idea, and to be the first rat to ever write the world’s first diet book for rodents is amazing!!
May 14th, 2025 at 10:56 am
Hi Ratty I have some advice on how you could lose weight quickly like running 10 meters and back or 25 ratty pushups a day. And a good title would be “The Amazing Shrinking Fat for Rats”.
May 14th, 2025 at 10:56 am
Hi Ratty I have some advice for on how you can lose weight for example stop eating to many peanut butter cups also workout by running 1 mile or try to do pushups and a good title for your book is (Nibbles and Nutrients: The rodent diet book.
May 14th, 2025 at 10:57 am
Hello, hello to you, Sebastian, Natalia, Adrian, and Leandro! I really ratpreciate your suggestions!
Okay, Sebastian, I’m not an author either (at least, not yet!) but I for sure like your titles! I have to say, though, I like one better than the other. I mean, Don’t Eat Things That Are Sugary or Bad For You kind of makes me think… are you including peanut butter cups in that? Because I hear they have a certain amount of sugar… I ratactually love the one that says How to Stay Healthy While Eating Junk, because then I could eat EVERYTHING! Rodent Chips, Curly Tail Cheesies, Rapid Paw Rollos, and… Ta da– PEANUT BUTTER CUPS!
Hello Natalie, it’s very nice to see YOU again, too! I would LOVE to be the first rat ever to write the world’s first diet book for rodents, and I agree with you– When Less is More It Doesn’t Raise the Score sounds like it just might be a ratwinner! The thing is, would my EDITOR like it? And if my editor likes it, then will the MARKETING people like it? And if they like it, then will the BARNES & NOBLE people like it? And if it passes all those hurdles, then what about the LIBRARIANS? They decide what to buy for all the libraries. Do you know any librarians who understand the need for a diet book for rats? Let me know if you do!
Hiya, Adrian and Leandro! (And Leandro and Adrian, too!) Okay, I like your ideas for exercising. I bet I can do lots of paw-pushups (having four paws makes it easy, though I do have a little issue with Belly Drag. You know, when your belly just won’t lift off the floor no matter how hard you push up.) Running 10 meters sounds easier than running a mile, but maybe I could start with 10 meters and work my way up? And your titles are ratexcellent. The Amazing Shrinking Fat for Rats is a clever play on the title of the book you are reading right now! And Nibbles and Nutrients: the Rodent Diet Book works on two levels. First, you have a catchy title, which grabs a rodent’s interest–and then you have the explanation of what the catchy title means, so no rat is confused. Good thinking!
May 14th, 2025 at 10:58 am
HI RATTY! I have an idea! Why don’t you call it ” PEANUT BUTTER CUPS: The most healthiest item on the menu!” And Question time! What do you think about people that waste PEANUT BUTTER CUPS!? ( Faints and then gets back up on the computer) THAT WAS PERFECTLY GOOD FOOD SHOULD BE A WAR CRIME OR A FELONY!! NEVER WASTE FOOD!!!
May 14th, 2025 at 10:58 am
Hi again my favorite Ratty friend! Nice to back blogging with you! I’m happy you don’t have Ratbontic Plague. I have an idea on what you should call your diet book for rodents; “PENUT BUTTER CUPS, the tastiest, healthiest, and amazingest diet of all!” It might be a little long, but I think it gets the job done. Do you like my idea?
Well anyways… here’s my question for this blog; What’s your favorite ratty color? It’s a little random, and has nothing to do with the story, but I just think it would be a fun thing to know! Actually I’m gonna make a guess! I think your favorite color is.. the rattastic color BLUE!
May 14th, 2025 at 10:58 am
Hi Ratty, I’m happy you are felling better, also I think a good title for the book would be How to Help a Rat Lose Fat.
From Benji.
May 14th, 2025 at 10:58 am
Hi ratty, I’m happy to see that you don’t have a rash. A good title might be How To Help A Rat To Lose Fat.
P.S hope you dreams are successful.
May 14th, 2025 at 10:59 am
Hey, hey, my pals Jayda, Ariel, Benji and Donis! It’s ratastic to hear from you, and thank you for your rodent-friendly titles!
Hi, Jayda! I do like your title, because I agree with it ratotally. PEANUT BUTTER CUPS: The Most Healthy Item on the Menu sounds so, so TRUE. (And if it isn’t true, it should be.) Oooh, and your question makes me shudder, right down to the tip of my tail. DO people really WASTE peanut butter cups? As in, ratactually throw the peanut butter cup away without eating it? It certainly seems like that is a criminal offense. Why don’t they just give them away to the nearest rodent? (Like, say, ME??)
Hi again to you, too, Ariel! Yep, I’m happy I don’t have the Ratbonic Plague, too. I wasn’t looking forward to getting–you know–buboes. And your title is right on, my friend! Peanut Butter Cups: The Tastiest, Healthiest, and Amazingest Diet of All just speaks to my little ratty heart. (The only thing I wonder about is, can a rat actually lose weight on that diet? Maybe we need to run a few tests…) Okay, my favorite ratty color is… GRAY! Because that’s the color of my fur. And the thing is, when a rat wears gray, he is always well dressed. (But blue is very nice, too!)
Hi Benji! Thank you for caring… I’m happy I’m feeling better, too. It’s no ratly fun to be sick. I know, it only lasted for a day or two, but it felt like it lasted a LOT longer. (Still, there are other rodents who have it worse. Like, remember the Three Blind Mice? I mean, to start with right away, they were blind. And as if that wasn’t bad enough, they had someone chase them and CUT OFF THEIR TAILS!) Cough, cough. Okay, back to the main subject. I like your title a lot! How to Help a Rat Lose Fat is punchy, clear, and to the point–and you did it in words of all one syllable!
And hello Donis, nice to hear from you! Thanks for your sympathy, and I ratpreciate that you are happy that my rash went away. It is no fun to scratch and itch (or itch and scratch, either) and believe me, scratching myself with my claws is just a little dangerous. And your title, How To Help a Rat to Lose Fat is very close to Benji’s, and what I said to Benji goes for you, too! I like it a lot! Thank you, too, for your hopes that my dreams are successful. I hope YOUR dreams are successful, too, whatever they might be! (If you want to understand rodentese, or shrink, just let me know and I can make that dream come true.)
May 14th, 2025 at 11:02 am
Hello ratty, I think the book should be could how to lose the extra rat fat.
May 14th, 2025 at 11:02 am
Hi Ratty! Ummmm… I think you got, a- bit-too-heavy. Try not to not eat that many peanut cups. If you like sweet flavors, Try eating apples. Or maby applesause. Fruits are good for you so try eating fruit. Plus I have absolutley no idea why guinea pigs are called “Guinea Pig” They do not look, feel and sound like a pig. Anyway, I think a good title for your book could be like, “How to stay on diet while being obsessed with peanut butter cups.” I mean, there are definitely other rats who are obsessed with peanut butter cups, right? Oooh. Mabey, “How to cheer up your belly after you stopped eating peanut butter cups. Thats my favorite.” Well bye Ratty!
May 14th, 2025 at 11:04 am
Hope you are feeling ratastic today! Good news i do have ways to lose weight and bad news.. I don’t have any titles but to make up here are some tips on losing weight 1: workout it helps strengthening your muscles ones you may not have but its fine! 2: LAY DOWN ON PEANUT BUTTER CUPS! Your just gonna get bigger and bigger! Eating 1 a day is fine and will help you out.
May 14th, 2025 at 11:05 am
Hai ratty!! I think you should name for your book title “Good Food For Rats”. That might be a good name. I don’t know if its a good name because I’ve never named a book before :c But I’m happy you are not sick c:
May 14th, 2025 at 11:06 am
Hello there, all you ratbloggers, namely Cam, Mateo, Aspen and Julieta! So nice of you to write back. I love getting all these ratly good ideas for my book!
Cam, my man, this is a good title. How to Lose the Extra Rat Fat has that nice rhyme at the end, and it tells you ratzactly what the book is about and how it will be useful to any rodent with, shall we say, a bit of extra flabbiness here and there. And that’s good, because anybody browsing for self-help books kind of wants to know, by the title, it it’s actually going to HELP them with whatever problem they have. And this title will let them know that, for sure!
Hi, Mateo! Ummmmmm… I think you just might be right. But is not eating peanut butter cups really the solution? Oh, wait, I see now– you said not to eat that many. Which must mean that I can still have a few, right? And your other ideas are
flabulousI mean fabulous. because it is true, I DO like sweet flavors, so thanks. I agree with you about Guinea pigs, and your title is funny! How to Stay on a Diet While Being Obsessed With Peanut Butter Cups… it’s true, I AM obsessed, and I have to believe that other rats might be, too. So yes, there IS a market for this book, and I think your title would help sell it. I also like How to Cheer Up Your Belly After You Stopped Eating Peanut Butter Cups, but not quiiiite as much. Because it seems to assume that the rodents would ractually STOP eating peanut butter cups. Which is just a tad unrealistic, you know?Hiya Aspen, thanks for your good wishes, and yes, I AM feeling ratastic today! I really like your advice about working out. I’m going to try it. But I’m not so sure about the “laying down on peanut butter cups” part (do you mean that I could make my bed out of peanut butter cups and lie down on them? It would be surprising if I had any bed left, by morning!) I can see cutting down–a bit–but since 17 a day is my average, I think going to one a day is maybe a little drastic. Do you agree?
Hai right back, Julieta! (Is that a typo, or are you saying “yes” in Japanese? Just checking!) Okay, your title is solid, girl. Good Food For Rats kind of says it all. I mean, it might not get into the diet part, but eating good food means you are eating food that is good for you, right? So that makes sense. And maybe there are rodents who would be turned off by the word “diet” in a title. Your title would offer them a new way to look at it. And thanks for caring about this poor little rat! I’m happy that you’re happy that I’m not sick (and I’m happy that I’m not sick, too.) And if you’re not sick, then I’m extra happy–like, rathappy!
May 14th, 2025 at 11:08 am
Hello ratty, it’s amazing that you don’t have the Ratbonic Plague! But on the extra weight you’ve put on maybe you should relax on the peanut butter cups… You should definitely get on a diet because it’s one way to lose weight. Other than a diet you should start working out…even thought lost time you did work it didn’t end up to well. On the book titles, I don’t have any ideas. One thing you could do is speak from personal experience that would definitely be a good thing! Well, that’s it.
Good luck on the weight lost!
Take care, Cloe.
May 14th, 2025 at 11:09 am
What’s up Ratson! I am proud of you for recognizing your errors (glance glance). I know a tip for your book…I guess. BUT I have an idea on how you can lose weight! If you enhance the ratverse way of eating, there is a chance you can lose that weight you’ve gained! Anyways…about that book. Maybe it’s too much for now. Rest more often and eat healthy (even though they come from plants PEANUT BUTTER CUPS ARE NOT HEALTHY), maybe write the book later.
May 14th, 2025 at 11:11 am
Hello ratty is good to talk to you again! :”> to be honest, I don’t really think I can come up with something to help you this time. But I might be able to help just a bit, like maybe you could use “Books for rats in need of weight loss” its the best I do! But I don’t think Peanut Butter Cups will help you lose some weight, sadly. But! Maybe you could make a book about gaining some weight too, for rats that need it. Then you could put Peanut Butter Cups.
May 14th, 2025 at 11:12 am
Hiya Cloe, Alaisha and Liliana, and a very ratty good day to you all! It was ratly kind of you to write back with all your good ideas.
Cloe, it IS pretty amazing that I didn’t have the Ratbonic Plague! I mean, I had all the symptoms– well, almost all. (Not the buboes. Whew!) And yeah, yeah, I know–I probably should eat fewer peanut butter cups. Do you think if I dropped down to 16 a day it would make a difference? And I really do like the idea of working out. I think I’m going to try that. Or maybe I should try a new sport? Yeah, that could work–it would be fun AND good for getting back into shape! It’s okay that you don’t have any titles for me–it’s already going to be hard to pick from all the good ideas eveyone had. But I really like your advice about speaking from personal experience. There are many rats out there who would like to know just how I lost all that weight (but I guess I have to actually LOSE it, first. Thanks for wishing me luck!)
Alaisha, you asked “what’s up?” What’s UP is the number on my SCALE! (How’s that for rodent humor?) (chuckles madly, rolling on floor holding belly) Okay, I’m getting ready to try the ratverse way of eating, but I’m wondering just how MUCH variety to put into my diet. Like, some people eat grasshoppers, and some eat worms, and–well, you get the idea. I’m not quite ready to eat rasolutely EVERYTHING. But it’s possible that I shouldn’t write the book just now… you may be right. I mean, how can I write a diet book, telling other rodents how to lose weight, until I actually have lost it myself? A good question!
Hello, Liliana, it’s good to talk to you again, too! And I think your title is good. Books for Rats in Need of Weight Loss is ratzactly who my book is going to be for. So, well done for hitting the target audience! I am sorry, though, to hear that you don’t think eating peanut butter cups will help me drop the flab. I am starting to think you are right, sadly. (heavy, heavy sigh) But what a ratexcellent idea, to make a book about how rats can gain weight! I suppose there are some skinny rats out there, who would like to bulk up. I figure they would just start eating more, but I’m sure eating peanut butter cups would help!
Okay, goodbye, everybody– I’m off to take your advice and figure out a great ratty way to exercise!